Drago Hydrax first claim

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Drago Hydrax first claim

Post by Drago Hydrax on 7/23/2012, 12:18 pm

Thread Name: To catch a sayain
Type: Solo
Link:http://www.infinitedbz.com/t1690-to-catch-a-sayain-solo
Link to Character Sheet:http://infinitedbz.wetpaint.com/page/Drago+Hydrax
Participants: Drago Hydrax
Word Count: 1598
Quest Rewards: Not a quest
Hero or Villain Points: None wanted
Benefits: Half Sayain so Inner Power but nothing really to do with the topic
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Drago Hydrax
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Posts : 51
Join date : 2012-07-20

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Re: Drago Hydrax first claim

Post by Drago Hydrax on 7/23/2012, 7:37 pm

b]Thread Name:[/b] Half Breeds Everywhere
Type: Spar
Link:http://www.infinitedbz.com/t1684-half-breeds-everywhere-zanza-vs-drago#6708
Link to Character Sheet:http://infinitedbz.wetpaint.com/page/Drago+Hydrax
Participants: Drago Hydrax, Zanza
Word Count: mine:2033
Group:5150
Quest Rewards: Not a quest
Hero or Villain Points: None wanted
Benefits: Half Sayain so Inner Power, Normal Bonus
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Drago Hydrax
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Posts : 51
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Re: Drago Hydrax first claim

Post by Drago Hydrax on 7/24/2012, 4:58 pm

b]Thread Name:[/b] Guardian of Earth
Type: Quest, Solo
Link: http://www.infinitedbz.com/t1707-guardian-of-the-earth-solo-easy-quest
Link to Character Sheet:http://infinitedbz.wetpaint.com/page/Drago+Hydrax
Participants: Drago Hydrax, Zanza
Word Count: 1502
Quest Rewards: 1000 zeni
Hero or Villain Points: None wanted
Benefits: Half Sayain so Inner Power once again nothing significant to the roleplay
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Drago Hydrax
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Re: Drago Hydrax first claim

Post by Goku on 7/25/2012, 11:20 pm

Your RP's just barely meet expectations. Your actual writing is good, but your paragraphs are a bit too clunky and hard to read. Walls of text are not fun and engaging for your readers. I suggest spacing things out some more. I'd say it's best to go for 3 to 5 sentences in one paragraph. Also, every time someone speaks starting a new paragraph as well. Doing so will give your writing a good flow and make keep someone reading. I had to stop after a line or two.

Roleplay: +376 XP, +2,200 zeni, +2 Action Points

Spar: +225 XP, +1,150 zeni, +2 Action Points, and +1 Battle Merit.

Total: +601 XP, +3,350 zeni, +4 Action Points, and +1 Battle Merit.

Congratulations!

You've gained five levels (2 - 6.)

You currently have 1,000 AP and 125 TP to utilize.




-----


No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

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Goku
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Posts : 1903
Join date : 2011-12-10
Age : 30
Location : New York

Character Info
Level: 81
Race: Saiyan
Location: Other World

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Re: Drago Hydrax first claim

Post by Drago Hydrax on 7/26/2012, 2:08 pm

125tp
Sense -25tp

Afterimage- 50tp

Flash Bomb -50 tp

0tp left

new stats
Strength 300
Agility 390
Ki 450
Endurance 285
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Drago Hydrax
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Re: Drago Hydrax first claim

Post by Goku on 7/27/2012, 10:15 am

This is completed.

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No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

avatar
Goku
Staff
Staff

Posts : 1903
Join date : 2011-12-10
Age : 30
Location : New York

Character Info
Level: 81
Race: Saiyan
Location: Other World

View user profile http://www.infinitedbz.com

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