Joining as Jake, my original character.

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Joining as Jake, my original character.

Post by Jake on 2/13/2012, 1:40 pm

Character Name: Jake
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Race: Saiyan
Appearance: http://bassbx.deviantart.com/favourites/?offset=96#/d4mn9cs
Starting Location: Earth
Attributes:
Strength: 100
Agility: 100
Ki: 100
Endurance: 100

Technique: Galick Gun
Username: Ava
Link: http://infinitedbz.wetpaint.com/account/SaiyanPrinceJake

Background: Jake is the son of the original Super Saiyan. He was placed into cryostasis by his mother when he was an infant. One-thousand years later, King Kaval discovered and adopted him. He quickly became more powerful than any other Saiyan, but it didn’t matter. His brother Tomen was always the King’s favorite. always got first pick. Jake was left with the leftovers of any choice Tomen had. Jake hid it well, but he resented, even hated his own brother. He vowed to become better than him, and he did, power-level wise. When he was young, Arctos discovered his power level of 50,000. He was taken by Arctos, but Jake escaped when he blew up his home. Jake landed on Earth, and befriended many people on the planet. He adventured with them over all of his journeys, and has become stronger than anyone alive. He still hates his brother Tomen, and keeps a distance from him, fearing that, if provoked, he would kill Tomen.

Roleplay Sample:
Jake was confronted by Tomen one day.

“Why are you avoiding me brother?” Tomen asked.

“Don’t talk to me. Why do you care? You’ve never cared. You even told me I wasn’t your brother!” Jake wheeled around and faced him.

Tomen kept his composure. “What are you talking about?” Tomen asked.

Jake snarled. “Don’t lie to me!! You know full well what you’ve done!! You’ve always taken everything! You’re even going so low as to take the last Saiyan woman from me!!” Jake shouted.

Tomen smirked. “Don’t be so angry. You couldn’t have her anyway. She was betrothed to me when we were young.”

Jake’s eyes widened in fury. “YOU WHAT!?!?”

Jake sparked into Super Saiyan. “That’s it!!!! I’ll kill you!!!” Jake rushed at Tomen, who had gone Super Saiyan as well. The two launched into the air and began fighting. Blows were flying, punches were landing. Both were getting heavily injured.

“Galick Gun!!!!” Jake shouted and launched the familiar purple energy wave.

“Final Flash!!” Tomen shouted, returning his own blast. The blasts collided and they started fighting again. Jake pulled away and transformed to SuperSayian Ascended. Tomen followed suit. They began to fight again. Eventually Tomen dealt a heavy blow to Jake.

“Stop this Jake! I don’t want to hurt you!” Tomen shouted.

“That would be a first.” Jake muttered. Tomen huffed.

“Just stay away from me. I don’t want to waste time with my selfish brother.” Jake said before he flew away. Tomen sighed and flew in the other direction.


Last edited by SaiyanPrinceJake on 2/14/2012, 1:31 pm; edited 3 times in total (Reason for editing : Had to redo and add a link.)
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Jake
Apprentice
Apprentice

Posts : 8
Join date : 2012-02-01
Age : 23
Location : Florida

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Re: Joining as Jake, my original character.

Post by Goku on 2/13/2012, 2:27 pm

In this RPG the events of DBZ never happened. You most likely wouldn't know Goku and Vegeta either. We have a Vegeta, so you can't put him in your RPs.

So change up your bio and your RP sample and I'll take a second look.

-----


No light, no light in your bright blue eyes
I never knew daylight could be so violent
A revelation in the light of day
You can't choose what stays and what fades away

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Goku
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Staff

Posts : 1903
Join date : 2011-12-10
Age : 30
Location : New York

Character Info
Level: 81
Race: Saiyan
Location: Other World

View user profile http://www.infinitedbz.com

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Re: Joining as Jake, my original character.

Post by Aqua on 2/13/2012, 3:26 pm

For setting up your Wiki link:
You need to sign up on infinitedbz.wetpaint.com,
click on My Profile,
copy the URL to your wiki username,
and paste it on your join form.

Also, when writing dialogue please make sure to start a new paragraph for each speaker


Jake was confronted by Vegeta one day. “Why are you avoiding me brother?” Vegeta asked.
“Don’t talk to me. Why do you care? You’ve never cared. You even told me I wasn’t your brother!” Jake wheeled around and faced him. Vegeta kept his composure. “What are you talking about?” Vegeta asked. Jake snarled. “Don’t lie to me!! You know full well what you’ve done!! You’ve always taken everything! You’re even going so low as to take the last Saiyan woman from me!!” Jake shouted.

Should look something like:

"Why are you avoiding me brother?” Vegeta asked.

“Don’t talk to me. Why do you care? You’ve never cared. You even told me I wasn’t your brother!” Jake wheeled around and faced him.

Vegeta kept his composure. “What are you talking about?” Vegeta asked.

Jake snarled. “Don’t lie to me!! You know full well what you’ve done!! You’ve always taken everything! You’re even going so low as to take the last Saiyan woman from me!!” Jake shouted.

As Trunks said, get these few minor details out the the way, then fix up the roleplay samples and you will be good to go!
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Aqua
Champion
Champion

Posts : 220
Join date : 2012-01-02
Age : 30
Location : New York

Character Info
Level: 22
Race: Human
Location: Earth

View user profile http://www.facebook.com/JamieBankai

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Re: Joining as Jake, my original character.

Post by Jake on 2/14/2012, 1:29 pm

Thank you. Edited.
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Jake
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Posts : 8
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Age : 23
Location : Florida

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Re: Joining as Jake, my original character.

Post by Aqua on 2/14/2012, 4:11 pm

Welcome to InfinitDBZ!
Your character and wiki are added.
As far as your request on writing advice, I would love to give you some pointers.
You can post in Kami's Lookout
Or if you would like, AIM me @ JamieBankai.
Good luck in all your adventures!
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Aqua
Champion
Champion

Posts : 220
Join date : 2012-01-02
Age : 30
Location : New York

Character Info
Level: 22
Race: Human
Location: Earth

View user profile http://www.facebook.com/JamieBankai

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Re: Joining as Jake, my original character.

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